Mentor-ship – helping and encouraging others to achieve and be better.

Mentor-ship

This is the art of taking someone under your wings. It is defined as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher; an influential senior or supporter (Dictionary.com). To me, it is encouraging someone to do their best, by coaching them and sharing needed life skills that were given to you by life circumstances. It is also a way to secure a quality of moral excellence. Longevity is an offspring of mentoring because it affects generations. True mentoring is servant-hood in action,  leading others to be better and enabling them to accomplish greater. I expect those that God gives me the opportunity to mentor to become a better person than I could even imagine being, it is changing the guard. In the work world it is called working your way out of a job; elevating you to another. Personally, I believe that the greatest mentoring leader for these times is servant leaders.

Mentoring – Just Being There

Just being there as a support can help tremendously.  Encouragement is so important in mentoring.  Mentoring can help turn or change destructive behavior that causes problems in communities all across this world.  It can help in descending occupants of our prisons. The movie Courageous, one of my favorite, show how damaging it is when a man is not in the life of his children.  This is a mentoring area that is much needed to help vulnerable children. There is an overwhelming number of children that have little or no relationship with their dads.  This brings on anger, frustration, and confusion to children. This sometimes brings out adverse behavior and some time hopelessness.  The wisdom of the Bible tells us to train up a child in the way they should go.  This is so crucial for children as they grow up.  We as a society should do whatever we can to make sure that our young are safe and able to function in life,

However just mentoring the children is not enough, young mothers and fathers as well need to be encouraged and mentored.  It is common knowledge that it is one thing to have a baby and a totally different thing to raise a child.  The lack of child rearing and or training is showing up in all areas of society, including our churches, political officials, schools, and communities. Integrity and moral excellence are on the brink of extinction. Both integrity and moral excellence would do so much to help in society: One cannot be selfish when mentoring and should be a servant leader. Traditional wisdom cautions us on selfishness and encourages us in servant-hood. It is an awesome act to place someone, even a stranger, well-being in front of yours, but that is what it takes for a strong society.  Think about this in every prison there is a father that some child needs.  In every juvenile facility, there is a child that needs a mature loving man in their life.  Personally one of my greatest accomplishment, was when I met a 14-year-old boy and took up time with him, shared with him things about life and called him a son.

To the men that read this: we are accountable to and is our little brother’s keeper. This does require a sacrifice of time and resources, however, compared to the time we spend on watching sports and or on a game or tablet, encouraging a child is much more valuable and is much needed.

Community – Give Back

Community support is vital to it own health. and it should be all-inclusive.  All communities should work together for the common good of our youths. The question becomes what do you as an individual want your community to be? Family and community relationship go hand and hand because strong families make a strong community.

The community is everywhere, in the stores, on the playground, in public facilities like schools and churches; as far as you can see is the community.  Its goal is to meet the need of the people that live in them, young and elderly.  The challenge to this is understanding what the people need. Most generally need similar things; good paying jobs, access to good health care, a good education, a safe environment, recreational opportunities, and others needs could be added. Meeting these needs is an asset to the community that will pay off again and again. The better each of us is the better all of us will be and it is all about how we value each other.

Consider this; there is no crime problem, there is no drug problem, there is no gang problem, there is no injustice, there is no poverty, there is no abuse, there is no isolation; none of those could occur without a community problem.  Each of us as members of a community must stand up for what is right for our community. Counting on one or two want produce what a community needs.  All inclusive is the key.

Churches play an important role in their community.  They can create a safe and stable environment that will be a benefit to the community.  Service to the community from churches and member of the community rendering service as an ambassador of Christ will always be a win-win. This will make a strong community.  It all begins with mentoring, or what the church call disciplining.

The following books and video have helped me in the area of mentoring:

Communication

Do you understand what I am saying?

Communicating requires you to be able to successfully share an idea or feeling.  Just because you said or wrote something don’t mean that you were understood.  The giver and the receiver are both responsible for successful communication.  When you don’t understand, it is time to ask questions to assure a successful transmission of the communication.  This is true whether the communication is verbal or by expression.  Effective communication will enable you to connect with others, earning their respect and trust, assuring that you are heard and clearly understood. Sometime the case could be; did the communicator know what they said.  So you see, communication can be a dilemma if it is not done correctly.

Effective communication

Effective communication is more than the give-and-take of information. It is all about understanding what Communicationwas said, and is a two-way street, clearly stated and clearly understood. Communication deepens your connection with others. It allows you to communicate skillfully without causing conflicts or distrust.  When your communication is integrated, it is heartfelt (what come from the heart goes into the hearer’s heart). That is effective communication with intention. One must know what they’re saying, and skillfully know when it should be said.

Say What?

Were you listening? This co-important part of effective communication is very important.  Without it communication is impossible.  To often what is said and what is heard are two different things.  Patient and attention are required to be a successful listener. Another way to put it you have to want to understand what is being said.  Sometime, it may be necessary to re-state what was said to make sure you are understanding (did you just say that the sky is pink?). To be a good listener; set quietly, without interruption and or distraction. Don’t be hasty in passing information that is communicated without understanding. Wrong communication can be harmful, take an initiative to get it right.

 

Trust and Confident

Who can you have trust and confidence in

You should seek people that say what they mean and mean what they say; leaving no surprises.  These are people that you would know what they stand for.  When a person has proved them self in any given area you would know what to expect from them. Never take people lightly when you deal with them. You have only one chance to make a first impression. For example, if you promise something or an outcome make sure it happens, because if it doesn’t, you may not be able to earn their trust and confidence. Don’t promise more than you can do, even sincere good attention won’t help you when you continue to fall short of what you say you will or can do; if you come through more often than not you will earn the trust, and confidence will follow. We all want people we can count on in our life situations.  Be a person of trust.

I just missed it

Confession is good for the soul.  When we just didn’t get it right, we must admit it and put it to rest.   This will make a Confidentstrong relationship and is a quality that you don’t see that often. People just don’t want to admit it when they are wrong, and sometime, they will even try to make their wrong appear as if it is right.  When we fail in this area, we lose credibility.  To pretend that we did when we know we didn’t is a serious violation of trust. When you missed it, you simply missed it. Being honest builds trust and confidence. When you have done all you could do to to get it right, but did not, admit it, then you will have the freedom to pursue excellence.

Just be honest

Deception runs fast and will always eventually catch up. Somehow someway deceitfulness makes itself known.  You may fool people for a while, but not always.  It is all but impossible to rebound from being caught in the deception.   For an example, if It looks like a duck, if it walks like a duck, if it sounds like a duck, no matter what you call it, it is a duck.  Deceitfulness is just deceitfulness.  The people that you have dealings with are looking for value and quality from you.  What is produced by deception will kill all trust and confidence that may have been given to you. Keep it real for your honesty sake.

Make it relational

It is all about making it better, and or providing what is needed for the benefit of another; where all that is a concern will benefit from the desired outcome.  There is no more heartfelt thing that you could do than to initiate betterment in the lives of others. It is an uncommon character today but is much needed.  I personally want each of us to have and to be, better. UNCOMMON DO WHAT UNCOMMON DOES –

 

Is it all worth it?

This is a question each of us should ask ourselves, and other questions like:
  • Why do I do the things I do?
  • Are the things I do cost or is it benefiting me?
  • Is what I am doing add to my quality of life?
  • Is what I do, helpful or harmful to others?
Is it important?

What will happen if I do not? Think about what is the worst thing that will happen? What will I lose? When we take a hard look at most of the things we do it really don’t amount to a whole lot.  These things are robbing us of the time of the most important things we should do. The opportunity to be a blessing don’t present themselves every day. The opportunity is not always there to get a thing done, so one must prioritize, and keep first things first because time waits for no one.

You are the only you, you got.

You are the best that you got going. You are to take good care of you, not selfishly, but intentionally.  Think about it; how can you assist others if you are not functioning at your best mentally and emotionally. Traditional wisdom from the Holy Bible put it something like this; first, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. It is a challenge, but a must to take care of you.

Doing the right thing

No one is looking

The true test of integrity is doing your best when no one is watching.  When there is no one to cheer you on or to encourage you to do so.  We should always do our best.  It will become integrated with us when we practice our best behavior whether we have an audience or not.  The most important question is: Which is the true image of your character, the one seen in public or the one that is behind closed doors. True integrity demands that it will be the same in either case. Doing the right thing when no one is looking is true integrity.

Time is the most important resource one can have

There is this saying that you only have one first impression.  In some circumstances, you only have one opportunity to get it right, no second chances. This is of most crucial in critical life situations. Sometimes there are more chances, but, it is an unknown when it is the final chance. The time is precious and absolute.  It hesitates nor waits for no one. We should all be careful of how we use it because we can only be our best one day at a time.

What is the most important thing in life

In my opinion, it is self-development as it relates to the intent of God for us.  It is of most important, to work on becoming the best that we can be.

To be enslaved to our God-given talent and gifts, to master them to serve those in our lives.  There is none more awesome than you becoming what God intends for you to be to our society.  What is the most important thing in life? You!

Why Fix it if it is not Broken?

Fix what you need to –

It is always room for improvement.  It should always be a goal to become better. However, some things are best just the way they are.  Alteration to these type things causes them to not work properly or not at all. The question become can you perfect, perfection.  Some things are best left alone.

Be careful not to break –Borken

Once I read an article, don’t remember exactly where a young person had it going on and a high self-esteem.  But someone brought attention to the Imperfection of her nose. In it destroyed they self-esteem.  This was not a problem for them at first, in other words not broken, and should have been left alone.

Use as instructed –

One of my sayings is: When all else fail, read the instructions.  Instructions tell us how things work according to its purpose. This is important to know because if we use it outside of its purpose, it will become damaged or nonfunctional. Likewise, we as people have an instruction manual, because of my faith in God, it is the Bible.  We have a world of hurting people that we tried to, but was unqualified to fix, to keep us and things functioning properly, we must do what the manual says to do.

 

 

 

How Much Are You Worth?

This is an important question to answer, usually your worth to others are more than one can imagine.  It is privileged to knowWorth that you are valuable to somebody. That value increases as time goes on.  Unfortunately, it can go higher or lower at any moment, when it comes to your influence;  its effects can be negative or positive and will increase in one of either direction because the behavior is learned.

My desire is to remain on the positive side of value. It is my belief that we of humankind, is accountable to help those in our sphere of influence better. UNCOMMON DO WHAT UNCOMMON DOES.

What’s Your Motivation

What is your motivation, why do you do the things you do? I believe that the things we commonly do are integrated; it a part of Motivationwho we are. If I was asked that question, my answer would be, to be a blessing.  I also believe it is reciprocal, in other words, blessing produces blessing. Try it, by random acts of kindness.  Nothing yields better returns as sharing, and there is nothing more powerful than doing so without condition.  Your only motivation; being kind to someone. Like the Bible Quote, it is more blessing to give, than receive.

Uncommon Do What Uncommon Does

Look around you and what do you see.  The things we see are common, they happen often and their stories are displayed andUncommon repeated often. Uncommon actions, however, are somewhat rare.  Their stories are rarely told. Why is this? is hard to answer.  So, where is the story of the person that is honest, hardworking, and always displays good character? Where is the story of the person that serves other above them self? Where is the story of the person that does what is right at any cost, love and obey God, and see that his family and others that are in his sphere of influence is safe and secure? Their story must not only be told but lived also, for a better world.  UNCOMMON DO WHAT UNCOMMON DOES.