What is happening to our boys – our young men

The Need For Positive Example –

What is happening to our boys? This is a complex question and one that need an answer.  It all begins with one’s perception of a boy or a man in general.  A clear and precise passage into manhood is needed.  It is all but impossible to become something not knowing what the end product should be.  To become a developing boy into a mature man one

must observe this process.  They have to see what a man actually look like in his appearance and his character.  Through this process, a boy will get to understand the accountability and responsibilities of manhood.  This life lesson and teaching should begin from birth until manhood and beyond.  The most qualified person to teach this is a mature man, one that truly and realistically understands himself as a man.  A lack of an example of manhood causes problems for many boys in our society today.

The love and support of a mature man –

This is lacking in the life of many boys and causes many adverse situations in their life. Mature men can help by assuring them that they are lovable and is loved.  It is amazing how much the presence of a mature man showing a concern helps a boy in his life.  This will motivate a boy to try to do better, because of the respect he has for the man that will flow into respect for himself.  It is also important that he is treated as an individual. and have a good positive example.  I truly believe that behavior is learned;  somewhere in a boy development he is drawn to the behavior of those that are like him, it can be an older boy or a man. It is like this; bad behavior produces bad behavior and good behavior produce good behavior. Question? what will a boy learn from your life, behavior?

Make no excuses

  • When you mess up, you just messed up
  • Sometimes you just have to admit that you got it wrong
  • Simply say, son, I did not get this one right

It is important to share with the boys in our life things that went wrong and what we learned from the mistakes in our life journey, along with the things that went right.  They will see our imperfection and if they are not explained it may have a negative impact on them; mature men will own up to their mistakes and will keep it real.  They are careful not to give a false impression.

A good example; I was listening to a young youth pastor several years ago, can’t recall his name now, but what he said stayed with me.  He told us about the time he went to play basketball on a community court with some boys.  They were competitive and it got heated.  One of the young men got rough and gave him a hard foul intentionally. The youth pastor got upset and began to present himself in an unchristian like manner. After he calmed down he spoke to this young man, told him that what he did was wrong, that his behavior was not what Christ was like, his behavior was all him.  The young men respected him more because he owned up to the mistake that he made.  What an excellent example.

A need to be recognized as an individual –

Men and boys are not one size fit all.  Stereotyping is most damaging and can be seen as demeaning. I am an individual that happens to be a man.  If you are not careful you will conclude that all men are unfaithful, that all men are unaccountable, that all men are untrustworthy and the list could go on and on.  Boys and men must be seen in a positive light until they as an individual prove otherwise. I should not be held accountable for the wrong of another man; no other man should be blamed for a wrong that I did. These kinds of actions toward boys and men can bring adversities to their development.

A demonstration of excellence –

This area is most critical in a boys development.  It is like what you see is what you get, or you get what you pay for. Also, it is like you get out what you put in.  Moral excellence is the foundation of stability in human development.  It keeps things civil.  Without it, destructive behavior will prevail. What is acceptable should be demonstrated consistently.Uncommon

When I was a boy, I remember a commercial that I believe would be relevant.  It was about a boy copying the actions of his dad, as they washed the family car.  The boy did everything that his dad did.  At the end of the commercial, the dad picked up his cigarettes to smoke.  What you think the boy would do? Mature men know what they do is more important than what they say.

Where did he get that from? again I believe that behavior is learned, Men actions is a powerful teacher to a boy; it is equally powerful if it positive or if its negative,  so be conscious of:

  • What you do around a boy.
  • What you say around a boy.
  • How you treat a boy.
  • How you treat others around a boy.
  • Of your overall behavior around a boy.

Boy, see the boy do.

Helpful resource – Dr. James Dobson’s Bringing up Boys Videos Seminar

Thank you for reading this post.  We welcome your comments.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *